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AUTHORIZATION FOR LUNAR CONTACT ACTIVITY
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SUBJECT: Clearance to Engage in Non-Destructive Physical Interaction with Lunar Surface Entity ("The Moon")
TO: Designated Recipient of Clearance Packet
1. AUTHORIZATION SUMMARY
Pursuant to Directive 12.9B of the Office of Strategic Anomalous Authorizations, the bearer of this document is hereby granted limited, non-transferable authorization to initiate controlled tactile interaction with the celestial body commonly referred to as "The Moon."
This authorization is granted under the classification that the Moon, while traditionally considered an astronomical object, has been assessed under OSAA Protocol LUNA-EX-4 as exhibiting "symbolic sentience characteristics of unknown origin."
2. PERMITTED ACTIONS
The authorized individual may:
- Approach the Moon under approved dream-state or metaphorical projection conditions
- Extend one (1) conceptual or physical hand (as defined by subjective reality metrics)
- Gently pet, stroke, or reassure the lunar surface without causing structural disruption
- Verbally acknowledge the Moon in a calm and respectful tone
3. PROHIBITED ACTIONS
The following actions remain strictly forbidden:
- Attempting to "MOG" the Moon
- Negotiating lunar territorial boundaries without clearance
- Using industrial-grade grooming equipment
- Introducing Earth-based bureaucratic systems to lunar terrain
- Wakeful skepticism exceeding safe containment thresholds
4. SAFETY NOTICE
The Moon may respond to contact with:
- Mild luminescent fluctuation
- Emotional projection feedback loops
- Brief gravitational nostalgia events
These reactions are considered normal and do not constitute cause for mission abort.
5. FIELD INSTRUCTIONS
Recipients are advised:
- The Moon prefers gentle interaction
- Avoid sudden emotional spikes during contact
- Whispering is optional but statistically appreciated
6. AUTHORIZATION CONFIRMATION
This document is validated under the joint authority of:
Director, OSAA Lunar Anomalies Division
Dr. H. Caldwell, PhD (Non-Terrestrial Relations)
Seal: [REDACTED – TOO BRIGHT FOR DIGITAL REPRODUCTION]
Counter-signed:
Deputy Assistant for Celestial Soft-Touch Operations
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END OF DOCUMENT
ALL UNAUTHORIZED COPYING WILL RESULT IN TEMPORARY LOSS OF GRAVITY PRIVILEGES